Category Archive

This past Wednesday Col Maybury, host of the Australian radio show The Starlight Zone, interviewed Shawn and I about covering the far side of the Moon with mirrors as a remotely detectable technosignature.

Listen to the complete (~5 minute) interview at the Starlight Zone

This idea got far more press than either of us had anticipated, so we tried to use our air time to do some damage control and clarify the idea beyond the scope of a brief news write-up. We are currently in the process of drafting the manuscript for submission.

This work is unfunded: We came up with this idea following the Pale Blue Dot III meeting as a solution to particular problems with the SETI approach to finding intelligence; however, we are not funded to develop this idea nor do we have any intentions of proposing construction of mirrors on the Moon to any funding agency. (Our global society can’t even agree upon a consistent program to address climate change issues–I seriously doubt our ability to maintain a long-term signaling project.)

Our signal is omnidirectional: A targeted broadcast such as a radio signal or laser pulse is limited because of its directionality. Our scheme, though, covers the far side of the Moon with mirrors on pivots (with dark solar panels on the opposite side) so that the albedo of the Moon can be effectively changed from 0 to 1, resulting in a 20% change in luminosity for the Earth-Moon system. This change in luminosity will be observable from almost any direction at any time and will not require a targeted broadcast.

Our signal is broadband: Because the light reflected from the Moon’s mirrors comes from the Sun, the detected change in luminosity will span a large section of the electromagnetic spectrum (depending on the particular mirrors used). This further increases our chance of success because we make fewer assumptions about the preferred observational/communicative frequency of extraterrestrials (whereas conventional SETI presumes radio beacons or other narrow-band broadcasts).

This beacon requires current and near-future technology: The mirror/solar panel pivots can be constructed with current technology. Furthermore, we are detecting new extrasolar planets every day. In 2009, Kepler will launch in search of terrestrial planets around other stars, and in the next 10-20 years the Terrestrial Planet Finder will be able to observe these planets and take spectra of their atmospheres. In other words, within the century it will be within our technological grasp not only to build such a signal but also to detect a similar signal around a distant world.

ET’s may use a similar technique: Even if we never construct a technosignature using the Moon, it is conceivable that a technological extraterrestrial society may signal their presence using a similar method. If the Terrestrial Planet Finder were to detect an Earth-sized planet around another star blinking in the prime numbers, we would at least have a hypothesis to explain this seemingly deliberate signal.

NewScientist wrote a short article on an idea Shawn and I have been discussing:

Mounting mirrors on the Moon and using them to signal across space could let ET know we Earthlings are here.

Ever since radio broadcasts began we’ve been trumpeting our presence to nearby parts of the galaxy, so far without reply. To improve the chances of being found, Shawn Domagal-Goldman and Jacob Haqq-Misra of Pennsylvania State University in State College reckon we should cover half of the Moon with mirrors.

Read the full article at NewScientistSpace.

Last day of AbSciCon tomorrow. The conference has been useful and thought provoking, though I have almost reached my saturation level for absorbing new information from fifteen minute talks. I present my talk on the climate of the Archean Earth (2.8 billion years ago) tomorrow morning. I also didn’t realize this until I arrived here, but apparently I have my name on four abstracts at the conference!

A Revised, Hazy Methane Greenhouse for the Archean Earth, J. Haqq-Misra, S. Domagal-Goldman, P. Kasting, J. Kasting

Synthesizing Archean Models and Data: A Self-Consistent Evolutionary History, S. Domagal-Goldman, J. Kasting, J. Haqq-Misra

Sustainability and the Fermi Paradox, J. Haqq-Misra

TPF-SETI, S. Domagal-Goldman, J. Haqq-Misra

Compared to the other conferences I’ve attended, it’s quite rewarding to feel like I’ve contributed something to the astrobiology community. More on the conference when I get back this weekend!

Although several years old, this paper by Changnon et al. (2000) makes an excellent observation regarding our perception of the increasing severity of natural disasters. Over the past fifty years the total cost of damages due to weather related events rose from ~$100 million to ten times as much, but the cost per person has remained constant:

…the results collectively indicate that the major cause of trends in losses related to weather and climate extremes is societal factors: the growth of wealth with more valuable property at risk, increasing density of property, and demographic shifts to coastal areas and storm-prone areas that are experiencing increasing urbanization.

Our pattern of continuous growth creates the opportunity for more damaging storms as we settle into high risk regions and construct expensive structures. Perhaps the many prophets of doom throughout history simply realized the long-term consequences of unsustainable growth and therefore included meteorological catastrophe as inevitable from our lifestyle.

And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars; see that you are not alarmed; for this must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places: all this is but the beginning of the birth pangs. (Matthew 24:6-8)

A great and rich power will be subject to serious natural disasters, particularly earthquakes and flooding, and rend the nation from end to end, causing enormous conflict, despair, and misery. The wealthy power will be bankrupted attempting to deal with its disasters. (Nostradamus, Times of Trouble)

Various prophets have had different ideas of the things to come, but they all saw in our world a sign of the times.

University education in the United States stands among the finest in the world. The faculty of these institutes have generally earned their positions through talent and work and represent a diverse body of experts and intellectuals; some may fall prey to the aloof professor stereotype, but across the system there are certainly many active, informed, and realistic members of the academic community. Additionally, university faculty are often well-networked, extending into the realms of business and politics.

Many members of the academic community appear well-suited for the responsibilities of political power. Why, then, is there such a small influx of academics to national politics?

Once again we come to October 23rd, wherein we observe not one but two holidays. In addition to the 6010th birthday of the Universe, today is also Mole Day.

So whether you’re a chemist or a creationist, there’s cause for celebration!

I’m heading off to the UW Graduate Student Climate Conference bright and early tomorrow morning–provided that we make it from Cincinnati to Seattle.

I’ll be presenting a poster on the climate of the Archean Earth, 2.8 billion years ago. (This was also my master’s paper and was recently accepted with minor revisions for publication.) Despite the faint young Sun, the warm ice-free Archean could have maintained by the interaction of the biota and climate system and perhaps stabilized with a thin Titan-like organic haze.

Greenhouse Warming of the Archean Earth [PDF, 754 kB]

Is fame by itself a worthwhile pursuit?

In academia, some faculty members seem bent on making their name as prominent as possible in their field, in order to achieve greater recognition. Yet fame as an objective in itself can lead to a situation where it is the only product of research efforts. A large number of publications may produce name recognition among peers, but unless the publications are also of high quality this only marginally benefits the community at large. Questionably ethical practices can also arise from the sole pursuit of fame: a single study with significant and useful results can be split into several segments–a practice known as salami slicing–in order to maximize name exposure.

Is there any purpose in this type of empty fame–aside from the quest for immortality? There is no shortage of examples for individuals who gain fame by virtue of their brilliant ideas, but I am inclined to think that most of these people did not seek fame in and of itself.

My essay I wrote for the Pale Blue Dot III workshop was published in the August issue of the journal Astrobiology. The paper discusses the conflict that often occurs between the belief in intelligent design or creationism with the theory of evolution, particularly because the underlying story for describing both of these perspectives is sometimes similar.

View a PDF of the complete article.

My contribution to the 85th issue of Tangled Bank hosted at Migrations.

Many of the basic sciences can be viewed in terms of fundamental discrete units, at least on certain levels. Particle physics, cellular and molecular biology, and chemistry all have simpler discrete units that comprise larger, more complex systems. What about the discrete units of astrobiology, though? It is even reasonable to think of astrobiology in reductionist terms?

Astrobiology by definition is an interdisciplinary field, consisting of geologists, biologists, chemists, meteorologists, astronomers, and others who collective seek an understanding of the context of life in the Universe. To this end, there is no singular reductionist unit, because the participating scientists come from widely varying academic disciplines; in effect, the disciplines themselves become the building blocks. The knowledge of evolutionary biology (based on the study of genes) is as foundational to astrobiology as the knowledge of high energy physics (based on increasingly elusive subatomic particles).

The reductionist units of astrobiology, then, are not concrete physical observables, but are scientific disciplines themselves! Scientists in various disciplines no doubt find immense satisfaction in breaking apart a problem to reach the most fundamental–and perhaps meaningful–level. But in an interdisciplinary field, such as astrobiology, we begin with the fundamentals to build up a multi-faceted picture that can bring greater meaning to the questions we ask.

Where have we come from?
What is our future?
Are we alone?

These questions are as old as the dawn of humanity, yet it is only recently that they have entered the domain of science. And every day that we gain a better understanding of fundamental science at a reductionist level is a day closer to answering some of the most profound questions of existence.

Iowa State astronomy professor Guillermo Gonzalez–well known for being a proponent of Intelligent Design–was recently denied tenure. The Discovery Institute obviously expressed concern, but the decision also prompted some criticism from the general public.

In general, tenure exists to permit the unrestricted exploration of ideas in academia. A professor who is granted tenure can pursue research interests that may be seen as controversial or speculative without risking their job security. From this argument, some claim that Gonzalez was denied tenure in order to maintain scientific homogeneity of ideas–in particular with relation to Intelligent Design.

There is a basic flaw in this line of reasoning, though. Gonzalez and others maintain that Intelligent Design is a scientific theory, an assertion rejected by most of the scientific community. This is not a bias toward one theory over another; rather, it is an acknowledgment that Intelligent Design is not science, and therefore is best left outside of the scientific realm. An idea is a valid scientific hypothesis if it is falsifiable in principle. Gravitation, relativity, string theory, astronomy, and evolution cannot ever be demonstrably proved, but all of these ideas can be falsified–that is, we could design an experiment that, if successful, would show the idea to be false. Intelligent Design, however, fails this criterion: no conceivable physical experimental outcome can falsify the notion of a Designer.

The Discovery Institute and other Intelligent Design proponents will no doubt try to make Gonzalez out to be a martyr, but this is expected since they are trying to force the acceptance of an outdated (and useless) definition of science. There is nothing wrong with a scientist who also happens to believe in a designer, but there is a problem–as Iowa State properly recognized–when a professor insists on applying non-scientific principles within the scientific community.

I saw this quote today on bash.org:

<CtrlAltDestroy> Here is my impression of Wikipedia.
<CtrlAltDestroy> “There are five fingers on the human hand [citation needed]“

This raises an interesting question: at what point is knowledge considered common enough that it no longer requires citation? For writing in academia, the general rule is to cite ideas that are not your own, thereby leaving u-ncited statements as your own thoughts. But if I were to observe that “there are five fingers on the human hand”, I certainly could not claim to be the discoverer of this information. It would not be difficult to find a source to cite, but would there be any purpose to it? Most people (and publications) are fine with allowing a statement like this to remain un-cited, but at what point is knowledge considered general enough that it can stand alone without a referenced authority?

At the Pale Blue Dot III workshop in Chicago

When discussing my research and scientific interests, every now and then I encounter questions such as “what’s the point?”, “why do we care?”, and–perhaps most importantly–”why is this worth spending money on?”. I have my own set of responses to questions such as these, but a talk by Michigan State University’s Jon Miller gave me a bit of a new perspective on this issue.

The course of science policy and direction is determined largely by elected officials and the heads of certain organizations (NASA, NSF, NAS, etc.). The president of the United States is more or less elected based on a few broad high-profile issues and a general public perception of leadership potential, and seats in Congress vary only by ~5-10% each year–so it is important to lobby and inform elected officials. Likewise, scientists in decision-making positions may have expertise in a particular field while asked to make broad scientific policies. Informing and influencing these people to guide the future direction of science and funding is very important.

Moving on to the public, there is one important demographic. These are the people who are interested and aware of science research and progress. This group has a good general understanding of science and would write their own elected officials regarding scientific policy. Science-public relations are also important here in influence science policy. Another segment of the public is interested in science, but perhaps feels uninformed enough to act politically. This group visits museums, buys science books, and watches science television, but will never write their elected officials. The remaining group of the public has little to no interest in science, and will have little to no impact on science policy.

Now, public education is important for a number of reasons. But if we only consider the shaping of science policy–and the justification of money spent–the last two public groups are inconsequential. So when someone from one of these groups asks for cost justification, a reasonable response could be, “there is no reason you should care about this research, but you opinion is also of no consequence.” I do not suggest actually using this response, but the perspective of policy-making in the US is interesting in determining communication effectiveness.

Here’s the complete discussion on the tropical storms list that I mentioned on Wednesday. Scientists have to keep a good sense of humor, too.

Last year’s record activity in the Atlantic stimulated an explosion of ideas for how to control TCs. Here, at long last, is a viable one:

http://www.scq.ubc.ca/?p=236

Kerry
——————————————————————
Kerry:

There is a positive feedback mechanism that the authors overlooked. Hurricanes can disable pirate vessels, which would lead to even more hurricanes. Also, I think it would be very appropriate to add a pirate term to the SHIPS model to further investigate this process.

Mark
——————————————————————
Mark,

The authors also missed societal impacts of increased piracy that will further decrease hurricane damage. Pirates have historically raided coastal sites, particularly overbuilt resorts, at least as often as they captured ships at sea. Thus, increased piracy will decrease the population and infrastructure at risk from hurricanes. Moreover, if undertaken by concerned scientists, piracy could increase funding for basic research of societal importance.

George
——————————————————————
who cares about the scientific benefits..the important thing is it leaves more rum for the rest of us! ;-)

Chris
——————————————————————
Actually, there is a stabilization mechanism in that the destruction of pirate vessels leads to further oceanic upwelling (the sinking of elements, as part of an IVI–inter-vessel interaction). This has the effect of decreasing SST and stabilizing the positive feedback loop pointed out.

Jacob Haqq-Misra
——————————————————————
No, no, no, the net effect depends upon the Sparrow number, a nondimensional parameter defined as the ratio of the mean mass of IVR pirates and captives plus plundered ships sunk per pirate ship to the displacement of the average pirate ship. For large Sparrow number, long-lived piratical enterprises mitigate TCs; for small Sparrow number, fast turnover of pirates provides some impact but mitigation in general is weaker. There is a stabilizing effect in that once all the inept pirates are in Davy Jones Locker, new buccaneers better at plundering the seas enter the field, leading to an increase in N_s.

Yo Ho Ho, and all that…

hew
——————————————————————
Kerry, Mark, et al.,

I agree that the statistics are compelling, but I have serious concerns about the PARROT model. They use a 0.5 degree grid to simulate pirate-induced upwelling! The effects of a ship sinking, for instance, would have to be entirely parameterized. Until I see a fully explicit model (i.e., one that resolves individual ships), I will remain a skeptic on this proposal…

JM
——————————————————————
The paper is well done and reminds me of some I have reviewed. Does the paper suggest that we predict piracy as a proxy for hurricanes? I am so fortunate to have not had to make a seasonal forecast.

“Never make a forecast you do not have to make”. (Pliny circa 320 b.c.)
——————————————————————
Input from the “mates” around me.

Another factor to consider is that an upsurge in pirate activity will result in increased over-board urinations, which will not only counteract the cool upwelling through influx of 98.6 degree fluids, but also increase the water salinity and bacterial content of the water… leading in turn to an increasing incidence of fish kills, coral bleaching, and milky seas.

Arghhhhh!

Jeff
——————————————————————
Actually, urine is sterile (unless there’s a urinary tract infection). Excretions from either end of the digestive tract, on the other hand, are n
ot, so that’s where the bacterial input would be from.

Cheers,
Leslie, who’s obviously been having waaaay too many conversations with pediatricians, veterinarians, and dog/cat owners
——————————————————————
Being that this seems to have a bit of climatological component any long term study should continue with the Vikings activity prior to the pirates. They were very active in the Atlantic and the region they mainly sailed was in cold waters. I can see a correlation already.

Joel
——————————————————————
In fact, of all the influences on the hurricane climate, this is probably the one we can trace back the furthest. Christopher Columbus’ well-armed fleets clearly strongly suppressed pirate activity, else how do we explain the number of hurricanes they encountered?

Jeff
——————————————————————
If we’re going to include the Vikings then we’ll need to build in an ET component to all this.

Pete
——————————————————————
Pete,

I agree with the need for an ET component, but am worried by John’s concern for the need to parameterize the ships @ the current resolution. What if the balance of involuntary crew resignation (ICR, a.k.a. “walking the plank”) versus inter-vessel interactions (IVI, a.k.a. “sea combat”) varies with latitude? Is the current ship model robust enough to capture this?

Just my 2 ducats….
Jenni.
——————————————————————
My question is “Does this count toward Dr. Emanuel’s citation index ?”

Old Blind Pew

Several months after the publication of the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, there is still activity regarding our publication of “Piracy as a Preventor of Tropical Cyclones“. I was informed by five people–four graduate students and one professor–that this article had prompted comments by hurricane expert Kerry Emmanuel on the Tropical Storms mailing list. Here’s what the experts are saying:

—–Original Message—–
From: tropical-storms-*******@*******.org
[mailto:tropical-storms-*******@*******.org] On Behalf Of Kerry Emanuel
Sent: Wednesday, September 06, 2006 10:12 AM
To: tropical-storms@*******.org
Subject: [Tropical-storms] TC control

Last year’s record activity in the Atlantic stimulated an explosion of
ideas for how to control TCs. Here, at long last, is a viable one:

http://www.scq.ubc.ca/?p=236

Kerry

—– Forwarded message from *******@****.colostate.edu —–
Date: Wed, 6 Sep 2006 10:32:15 -0600
From: “*******, Mark”
Reply-To: “*******, Mark”
Subject: RE: [Tropical-storms] TC control
To: tropical-storms@*******.org

Kerry:

There is a positive feedback mechanism that the authors overlooked.
Hurricanes can disable pirate vessels, which would lead to even more
hurricanes. Also, I think it would be very appropriate to add a pirate
term to the SHIPS model to further investigate this process.

Mark

I sent a response to the last email this afternoon: “Actually, there is a stabilization mechanism in that the destruction of pirate vessels leads to further oceanic upwelling (the sinking of elements, as part of an IVI–inter-vessel interaction). This has the effect of decreasing SST and stabilizing the positive feedback loop pointed out.”

Beer comes in all shapes, sizes, flavors, textures, and aromas. At a typical bar you might find a selection of cheap brews on tap for the crafty consumer; this usually consists of beers such as Miller Lite, Bud Lite, Coors Lite, Natural Lite, etc. But are these beverages really so bad? Obviously there are plenty of drinks far superior to these, but surely Miller Lite is not the epitome of foul-tasting American brews!

To better explore the sample space of bad beers in America, a group of us graduate students organized an event: the Bad American Swill Festival (BASF). This was the second annual BASF, the first of which occurred last year with only four participants–more of a preliminary event. This year, there were eleven beers exhibited with twelve unfortunate participants.

The blind taste test was grouped into three categories for each beer: cold taste (weighted 65%), aroma (10%), and warm shot (25%). The weights are reflective of the fact that most beers are enjoyed cold. However, smell certainly affects the enjoyment of the beverage; and beers tend to warm up for all but the most voracious drinkers. Beers were rated in each category on a scale of 0 (completely undrinkable) to 10 (not too bad).

And now, the contenders and results of the second BASF. (Note the custom designed pint glasses on either side of the lineup.) Weighted mean scores are shown in brackets.

11) Schlitz [5.77]
10) Jacob Best Ice [5.25]
9) Genesee Cream Ale [5.03]
8) Old German [5.00]
7) Stite Lite [4.48] (my entry)
6) Black Label [4.35]
5) Southpaw Lite [4.32]
4) Utica Club [4.17]
3) Koch’s Golden Anniversary [4.13] (defending champion)
2) Old Vienna [3.98]
1) LaCrosse Lager [3.30]

If I learned anything from participating in the BASF, perhaps it really is a good thing that “in Heaven there is no beer…”

What kind of meteo grad student are you? Take this test I just made to find out–even if you’re not in meteorology or a grad student!

The Science Creative Quarterly today published “Piracy as a Preventor of Tropical Cyclones” as part of the contest sponsored by the Enlightenment Institute. The article can be viewed in the SCQ at the following URL: http://www.scq.ubc.ca/?p=236. The full text of the article is also below. RAmen.

PIRACY AS A PREVENTOR OF TROPICAL CYCLONES
By Jacob Haqq-Misra and Michael Larson

ABSTRACT:
Recent hurricane seasons have been characterized by intense and frequent tropical cyclones. One contributor is increased sea-surface temperature, which is caused by decreased upwelling of cold deep-ocean water. We demonstrate that decreased pirate activity results in less upwelling. This suggests that the only viable solution to intense tropical cyclones is to increase pirate activity.

INTRODUCTION:
The destructiveness of the 2004 and 2005 hurricane seasons has heightened public and scientific awareness of the possible long-term consequences of global warming. Although the link between hurricane strength and global warming remains speculative, recent work has shown that hurricanes have intensified over the past 30 years (Emmanuel, 2005), with an increase in the number of category 4 and 5 hurricanes and a decrease in those classified as categories 1 and 2 (Webster et al., 2005). Emmanuel (1987) argued that hurricane intensity is a function of the sea surface temperature (SST) which, of course, increases as the Earth warms. But other factors are important as well. Lighthill et al. (1994) pointed out that while a lower SST limit of 26^oC is required for tropical cyclone formation, several other key factors contribute to formation and intensity.

The increase in global average temperature is well-correlated with a decrease in global pirate population, as evident in figure 1 (Henderson, 2006).

Figure 1: Correlation between global average temperature and piracy, adapted from Henderson, 2006

We propose that piracy decreases the average SST, thereby lowering average global temperature and suppressing tropical cyclone intensity.

PIRACY AND UPWELLING:
Piracy decreases average SST by inducing upwelling of cold deep-ocean water. Various pirate activities contribute to upwelling. These include involuntary crew resignation, inter-vessel interactions and acoustically-transmitted oscillations (Bligh, 1789; Stevenson, 1883).

Involuntary crew resignation (ICR, a.k.a. “walking the plank”) involves a pirate or captive being forcibly ejected from a vessel at sea. This results in upwelling from displacement of water by the ejectee (Archimedes, c.250 BCE).

Inter-vessel interactions (IVI, a.k.a. “sea combat”) consists of transmission of projectiles between vessels, resulting in destruction or boarding. Upwelling is caused by scattered projectiles and by sinking of vessel elements.

Acoustically-transmitted oscillations (ATO, a.k.a. “sea shanties”) were originally intended to boost morale of rowing pirates. They have assumed ritual functions with the ascent of external power supplies. ATO’s produce upwelling by disturbing the sea surface. This increases motion of large biological entities (”fish” or “whales”), producing displacement.

MODEL RESULTS:
We have modeled pirate-induced upwelling using the PARROT (Piratic Activity Realization Rate of Oceanic Tendencies) oceanic circulation model (Haqq-Misra et.al. 2006). This model has 0.5^o resolution and accurately reproduces present-day ocean currents (Figure 2a.).

We simulated normalized pirate-induced upwelling (in upwelling pirate units, or upu) over the three upwelling categories described above. An ICR event produces 1 upu. IVI’s produce a variable number of upu. We use
d a Maxwellian with an average of 1000 upu. It should be noted that IVI events can produce multiple ICR’s. ATO produces continuous upwelling, based on the local pirate density and oceanic biotic activity. The world average ATO is about 0.5 upu/day.

We average pirate activity from 1605-2005 for each ocean grid cell. While recent pirate activity is weak and concentrated off of the Somali coast (BBC, 2005), historically piracy has been concentrated in the Caribbean (Bruckheimer, 2003). This is consistent with our model results, which produce significant pirate-induced upwelling in the Atlantic basin (Figure 2b.).

Figure 2: A. normal ocean circulation (surface currents). B. regions of pirate-induced upwelling. Note the significant contribution to upwelling in the Atlantic basin.

DISCUSSION:
We have demonstrated that pirate activity produces upwelling. It is thus obvious that a decreasing pirate population will result in less oceanic upwelling, especially in the Atlantic basin.

As evidenced by the 2004 and 2005 hurricane seasons, decreased upwelling results in increased SST’s and more intense tropical cyclones. Our PARROT model predicts that if the downward trend in piracy continues tropical cyclones will intensify. The hurricane season may also lengthen, due to increased SST.

PREDICTIONS AND EXPERIMENT:
The PARROT model has not been experimentally verified. Therefore, we have predicted the upwelling and global impact resulting from a single ICR event. While the effects of an ICR event depend on the mass of ejectee, our model predicts a reduction of roughly 10% in the number of named tropical storms in the Atlantic basin in the 2006 season as a result of a relatively small ICR event off the northern Puerto Rican coast between March 9 and March 13, 2006.

We intend to experimentally verify PARROT by producing such an ICR event. At least one of the authors of this paper will be present for the experiment, to measure the exact upu value of the event.

CONCLUSIONS:
We have demonstrated that decreased piracy contributes to increased tropical cyclone intensity. The only viable solution is to increase pirate activity, especially in the Atlantic basin. We suggest that ICR’s and ATO are preferable to IVI’s, because they offer finer control of upwelling effects.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
We thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for inspiring this work and Robert Henderson for advocating piracy to fight global climate change.

REFERENCES:
Archimedes (of Syracuse), On Floating Bodies, c.250 BCE, Syracuse, Greece.

Bligh, W., 1789. Log of the H.M.S. Bounty, Royal Navy, London, UK.

British Broadcasting Corporation, Nov. 25, 2005 “US Firm to Fight Somali Pirates”, London, UK.

Bruckheimer, J., 2003, Pirates of the Caribbean, Disney Enterprises, Orlando, FL, USA.

Emanuel, K.A., 1987. The Dependence of Hurricane Intensity on Climate, Nature, 326, 483-485.

Emanuel, K.A., 2005. Increasing Destructiveness of Tropical Cyclones over the past 30 years. Nature, 436, 686-688

Henderson, R. 2006, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Villard.

Haqq-Misra, J.D., et al. 2006. A Predictive Ocean Circulation Model, in press.

Lighthill, J. et al., 1994, Tropical Cyclones and Global Climate Change, BAMS, 75, 2147-2157.

Stevenson, R.L. 1883. Treasure Island, Cassell & Co., London, UK

Jacob Haqq-Misra is a graduate student of meteorology and astrobiology at Penn State University with an unnatural affinity for random numbers. He also has an interest in the history and development of religion, and its interplay with the natural sciences. His current research activities include the effects of climate change on hurricane intensity, habitable zones around stars, and paleopiracy.

Michael Larson is a rising star in the realm of physics, and is currently engaged in full time indentured servitude at the University of Wyoming. Unfortunately, the nature of this schedule provides for little free time, which is squandered by p
oking fun at non-scientists in general. While his bad humor may not change the world, he takes solice in the fact that it has been known to make people physically ill.

I gave a seminar today based on my paper that was published in The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The talk was well attended, with many graduate students and a few professors (we filled up the room), and the audience asked a number of good questions. All in all a success, although sadly the videographer ran out of tape before the talk was over! Oh well…in any case, here’s a link to my slides:

piracy_cyclones.ppt [2.5M]

In order to further the cause of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Bobby Henderson graciously revealed The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster on the 28th of this month. Bobby also included some of the work done by the FSM Enlightenment Institute, including a study conducted by Michael B. Larson and myself. The work will also be published in an online periodical later this month, so for now I will simply provide the abstract to our study. The full article is found on pages 149-153 of Bobby’s book. (I still have mixed feelings about this being my first publication. Fortunately, I am also co-author on a peer-reviewed journal article currently in preparation. That should offset things a bit.)

Piracy as a Preventor of Tropical Cyclones (abstract)
Recent hurricane seasons have been characterized by intense and frequent tropical cyclones. One contributor is increased sea-surface temperature, which is caused by decreased upwelling of cold deep-ocean water. We demonstrate that decreased Pirate activity results in less upwelling. This suggests that the only viable solution to intense tropical cyclones is to increase Pirate activity.

I’ll admit that I have some personal interests in mind when I comment on the proposed cuts to the NASA budget. That’s not really my primary concern, though; I’ll just look for funding elsewhere. The curious thing is that in light of massive budget cuts, all NASA’s money is being diverted to shuttle flights, mostly for completion of the International Space Station. Maybe that’s good, finish the projects that we start. The problem, though, is that there is no money left to do the science! In fact, there is hardly any room to develop the Crew Exploration Vehicle (CEV) as a safer and more efficient replacement for the shuttle.

Supposedly, the Bush administration wants to return to the moon in the near future, and I recall them throwing out something about Mars. As a NASA official once said, “Exploration without science is just tourism.” The Cold War is over, and no one is doubting the technological achievements of the United States. There is no reason to make a show of returning to the moon simply because we can! And, if the concern is to maintain public support for space exploration, then planet-finding missions such as TPF need to be given priority–or at least adequate funding–instead of being “delayed indefinately” as stated in the proposed budget. Fortunately it’s still not too late. Bush may have proposed a budget that would hurt American science advancements, but Congress still has the final say. It’s not too late to call or write your senators and representatives.

As of today, the paper “Piracy as a Preventor of Tropical Cyclones” by Michael Larson and myself has officially been accepted as one of the 18 (out of 120) submissions suitable for the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Enlightenment Institute. The articles will be published online in the Science Creative Quarterly, which is not actually a quarterly publication. The winner of the coveted $100 worth of Ramen noodles has yet to be announced.

In any case, the article will also be in Bobby Henderson’s Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, available March 28. And I just might end up giving a seminar on the current state of pirate-hurricane research sometime soon.